Ok, so this is for all the people out there in college. Some of these things are dealt with in high school, but not as commonly. For all of you that have not experienced college yet: DO NOT let this scare you off, not every professor is like this. Even the coolest ones have their little quirks that make you want to strangle them. For those of you that are in college, or have already graduated, you will probably be able to assign at least one old prof. to each of these traits.
10. The Deadline Hypocrite
Professors who adhere to strong deadline rules for the students but never meet the deadlines they tell their students. Please at least give us the decency of handing back our first exam/quiz or paper before the next one is due.
9. The Field Mouse
Professors who have the tiniest voice or a horrible mumbling problem and do not use the mic offered in most large auditorium style classrooms. As a result, 100+ students have to strain to hear or understand them even while sitting right in front.
8. Senor Chicken-scratch
Professors who have horrible handwriting and feel the need to hand write all of their notes, either on the board, over-head projector, or computer. If you won't spend 10 minutes trying to figure out what I wrote on my exam, then please don't expect me to do the same.
7. Professor No-Show
Professors that cancel class 5 or 10 minutes before it starts and just have someone else put the "Class Canceled Today" sign on the door. Or, even better, the professors that actually do nothing- that is, don't show up, don't send an email, and an hour after leaving class frustrated and annoyed, you check your email and lo, professor punctual ended up sending you an email half an hour after class started. Thank you for making me drive out in the same crappy weather that made you stay at home, for nothing.
6. The Over-Under Achiever
Professors who have the ability to even over-schedule themselves. Please, don't assign more work than you can cover in class. It wastes both you and your students' time. If you can't stick to your syllabus, don't expect your students to be able to either.
5. The Social Butterfly
Professors that either do not know or care that not everyone likes public speaking and think that you should have no problem doing presentations or the ever-so-fun copout project where each student will teach that class for a little bit.
4. The Martyr
Professors that complain about all the work they have to grade. I have a brilliant solution: Don't assign all that work. Don't make me do a crap load of work and then complain about having to grade it.
3. Mr/Miss Universe
The lovely professors who act as if their class is the only thing that exists in your universe. You don't have 3 or 4 other classes, kids, a job, or even the daily need to eat and sleep. Nope, you should have no problem reading 200-300 pages or doing some insanely hard lab or problem set in one day (or two if you're lucky).
2. Professor Assumption
Professors who assume that you already know all of the info being covered in their course, and are surprised when no one can answer their question. Please do not expect me to know that you haven't even talked about, that is why I'm taking your class.
1. The Zealot
Professors who extremely exaggerate the importance of their class. I know this is your life's work and all, but to me it's nothing but a hurdle to graduation that I didn't want to have to jump over in the first place, and it's not just me. Turns out, there are a couple thousand other students who think this. I will not deny that many a college student has actually found their true calling by taking filler classes like yours- I actually changed my major after taking a class, but this is probably at least a 1 in 50 shot. It also helped that I was really interested in said major anyways. I hereby propose a new mantra every professor should adopt: "Not everyone will like my class. I am okay with this."
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